Longshot Miami-Dade Sheriff wannabe insults, offends everyone in web video
In his second video as Gino the Magnificent, Miami-Dade sheriff candidate Jeffrey Giordano — a long shot poking fun at the November election and some the 17 candidates in the clown car — manages to offend women, blacks, short people, union members, seniors and even phlebotomists.
It’s Part 2 to his first posted video as Gino, a take on Johnny Carson’s skit where he portrayed Carnac the Magnificent. In the first video, posted in February, Giordano took pot shots at candidates Ignacio Alvarez, Jasper Bishop, Ruamen de la Rua, Alex Fornet, Joe Sanchez and retired MDPD Lt. Rickey Mitchell, calling the funeral home owner “Grim Reaper Mitchell,” and “the only candidate who will profit from multiple deaths in Dade County.”
So maybe we shouldn’t be surprised at how far he will go.
Is Miami-Dade Police Maj. John Barrow really the shortest candidate, under five feet tall? Ladra doesn’t know. And should we care? It might only be important for optics.
But the crazy part is that Giordano donned black sunglasses and did a terrible impersonation of either Little Richard or Ray Charles or a cross between both for whatever reason. One can only assume it’s because Barrow — who he photoshopped with long locks a la Little Richard — is black. He called him “Little Barrow.”
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This is not someone we want leading county law enforcement.
Giordano, a 27-year veteran of the department, then takes a shot at Assistant Miami-Dade Police Chief Rosanna Cordero-Stutz, the highest ranking county officer in the clown car, calling her “Sgt. Dingbat.
“She wanted to be a cop because she played cops and robbers when she was little,” he said, comparing Cordero-Stutz to Edith Bunker in All in the Family and singing part of the show’s theme song where it says “girls were girls and men were men.”
“Let men be men, Rosie. Let us be the sheriff,” Giordano, or Gino, says. Every female officer should take notice. This man is not fit for leadership.
He called Officer Ernesto “Ernie” Rodriguez a “blood sucking vampire” because he once worked as a hospital phlebotomist and says that we don’t need a sheriff that “sucks on a tete, excuse my Spanglish, pacifier,” when referring to MDPD Sgt. Orlando Lopez, who is the youngest candidate and also the first LGBTQ liaison for the department. At least Gino didn’t go there. “We need a sheriff with some age and experience,” he said.
“Now, Mr. Gotti,” he says, referring to former Police Benevolent Association President John Rivera, “don’t have another uncontrollable bowel movement. I don’t mean that old.”
He even took a shot at our beloved Palacio de los Jugos. Like, que pair of mameys!
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That’s where you find signs for MDPD Maj. Jose Aragu — next to a picture of a yummy puerco asado. “He’s the poster child for el Palacio de los Jugos,” Gino says. “You have a life-size poster in every restaurant next to a sign that says ‘pig’ in Spanish and you’re in a county uniform? How disrespectful.
“You should be the poster child for birth control.”
Giordano dares to compare himself to Sylvester Stallone’s John Rambo character. No really. Like this is a selling point.
Perhaps the only thing Giordano got right in the five-and-a-half-minute video posted on YouTube was his depiction of James Reyes, the candidate handpicked by Mayor Daniella Levine Cava, as “the only white candidate with a brown nose” and “another political appointment.”
Will there be a Part 3?